Patti and I have been close friends for many years. It’s one thing to forge a friendship when things are going well, but Patti entered my life at one of my lowest points, offering help and a listening ear. She’s a remarkable person with a heart for others and a courageous spirit.

You should also know that Patti has spent a lot of time in the business world, holding various roles ranging from bank teller and administrative assistant to consultant and director. She holds a degree in organizational leadership. 

Patti is married to Guy and, between them, they have six grown children and seven grandchildren.

On this particular day, I wanted to ask Patti about her experiences as Grandma Patti over the past ten years. Before diving into her role as a grandparent, however, I asked who inspired her in this journey. 

“I didn’t have a lot of experience with grandparents [as a child,]” she explained.

She shared that her mother, Dorothy–fondly known as “Beautiful Grandma Dorothy” –was the one who modeled what effective grandparenting looked like for her.

Patti’s mom had a good sense of humor and when she decided to refer to herself as “Beautiful Grandma Dorothy,” the name stuck, becoming her signature grandmother name.

“My mom was awesome. My kids will remember that she’d just let the dishes sit while she played and played with them…My two got the benefit of her. She’d get out and play baseball with them. She was usually the pitcher.”

Patti explained that Dorothy wasn’t deterred by age or just because she might not know how to do an activity that the children enjoyed. Even as her physical abilities changed, Dorothy found ways to connect with her grandkids by learning about their interests and passions. As an example, she’d read the sports section of the newspaper so she could talk stats with her grandsons over the phone or by mail.

“She would call him up and send him stuff. She loved the St. Louis Cardinals [but] we were all Cubs fans. She’d mail him headlines, like ‘Cardinals 5, Cubs 3,’ without signing her name–as if we didn’t know who was sending it!” 

Dorothy also found creative ways to connect with her younger grandson, even sending comics through the mail, sometimes inserting herself into the storyline.

Patti laughed, “She would write him and her into the thing.”

Dorothy had a fun personality. Patti fondly recalled a time when her mom mailed a single Twinkie to her grandson simply because he loved them.

“It cost her more to mail that one Twinkie than it did to buy an entire box!”

When Patti’s sons were in college, Dorothy would call them every weekend. She worked to stay connected at every stage of their lives. 

“One got a call on Saturday and the other one got a call on Sunday.”

Even when one of them didn’t return her calls, Dorothy handled it with humor and grace.

“He didn’t answer for a couple of weeks, so she left a message saying, ‘I think you lied. Your voicemail said that you would call right back, and I haven’t heard from you.” 

Patti said, “She poured into them!” And as she described her mom, it was clear that Dorothy was someone who loved investing in people. Pouring into her grandchildren probably just came naturally. 

The same could be said about Patti. However, with her grandkids so far away, she’s had to not just be intentional but she’s had to be proactive about connecting with them as well.

I asked Patti how they bridge the miles between themselves and their Grands. One way they do this is by holding “Grandparents Camp.” 

“I know I’m missing out on stuff,” Patti shared. “I try to make the most of the time I have with them.” 

Sometimes, the key to a successful camp means setting it up in different places. While the children have traveled to stay with Patti and Guy at their home, they’ve also rented places near their grandkids to make things easier on the families. These home-based grandparent camps allow for a slower pace and give opportunity for grandkids and grandparents to live together for a few days. 

As Patti spoke, I realized the secret to her success wasn’t high expectations, but rather in keeping things simple. 

The Percy’s choose one bigger activity each day, complemented by smaller, everyday experiences: cooking, playing a board game, helping with a chore, going on a walk or running an errand. 

“Instead of running them all over the place, we just have one main activity a day.”

Patti also leaves space for downtime– individual play, rest, TV time, and reading books.

The Percys love to share their passions with their grandchildren. It’s a chance to introduce new experiences and create lasting memories.

For example, an unfortunate incident involving a snake and the family grill inspired Guy to create a character named “Jake the Snake.” A gifted storyteller, Guy loves spinning tales of Jake’s misadventures while the grandkids hang on every word. 

Patti, meanwhile, has taken up pickleball and has introduced it to her grandchildren during camp. Another activity the children participate in is golf because Guy is an accomplished golfer and coach. It’s not about the children becoming experts in these athletic endeavors, it’s about enjoying each other’s company, laughing and learning.

“I just hang out with these kids. We play a lot of games, like board games and stuff. Guy goes outside to swing with them…we just do a lot of stuff when we’re together.”

When asked if there’s one activity they always do with their grandchildren at camp, Patti explained that they memorize a Bible verse. Faith is a central part of the Percy family’s life, so sharing a meaningful verse adds a character-building touch to their time together. 

As I spoke with Patti, the understanding she had for her grandchildren and their individual needs stood out to me. For instance, having a grandchild with ASD calls for more forethought in their plans. It’s important to be aware of what is in the environment or the details of an activity that can quickly turn a lovely outing into a stressful one.  

How does she know what may or may not trigger anxiety? Sometimes it’s by trial and error. It’s not ideal but it happens. However, Patti believes the best way to prepare is by talking to her kids- their parents. She seeks out their advice and they have a conversation in advance.

Although she truly cannot erase the miles between herself and her grandchildren, Patti is clearly paving a road of love and support– one that is inviting and always open.